Movie Review: Nope

 

A long time ago, I watched Jordan Peele's first movie, Get Out, while on a long-haul flight. My criteria for long-haul flight movie choices all revolve around things like 'light and fluffy', 'can sleep for a chunk and not miss anything', 'can be bored and fall asleep' ... so I'm not sure what possessed me to choose Get Out because, while it fulfilled none of the above, it was gripping cinema (even on the teeny-tiny screen).

Somehow I missed Us so when I saw that there was a new film I made sure I entered more one competition to win tickets. And that is how I ended up at the Adelaide launch, with a friend, also a Peele (or should that be Get Out?) fan.

I went in knowing nothing about the film and my friend commented that she'd watched the trailer before leaving home and had been left none the wiser. And, after 2 hours and 15 minutes of cinema ... well, hell, I couldn't really tell you what the film was about. I have since heard a pithy description of it (thanks reddit) but I don't want to share that here for risk of ruining things.

Because I'm somewhat bemused by the film, it means I'm also not sure what might constitute a spoiler. I'm going to try to avoid spoilers but ... you never know.

So - we're in the California desert training horses to be on movie sets. The patriarch of the family business is killed by objects falling, mysteriously, from the sky. The serious but slightly awkward son, OJ, (Daniel Kaluuya, who you'll recognise from Get Out) is left in charge of the business alongside his feckless sister, Emerald (Keke Palmer). Without his father holding things together, the business starts to go out south and it transpires that OJ is selling his best horses to their neighbour, Ricky Park. Park owns a western themed theme park, which also seems to be suffering business woes. It appears Park's finances are being held together by his connection to a children's program in the late 90s (I'm not sure how important this is to the story ... so ... abundance of caution and all that).

But then ... things take a turn south as weird stuff starts to happen. Emerald and OJ attempt to set up surveillance but the 'weird stuff' that happens disrupts anything electrical. 

Eventually, they arrive at the conclusion that the 'weird stuff' is alien. Whether or not it's a UFO or an alien, or indeed whether or not it's a sentient UFO ... well, um, yeah. But another key realisation is that the 'weird stuff' will only get you if you look at it.

Armed with this knowledge, the siblings (along with some help) come up with a plan to capture footage of said 'weird stuff'.

They do. The end.

Hm. Well, that's underwhelming. But to add to the general feeling of 'WTAF' that I left the cinema with, we've got a very strange story arc about a chimp, we've got the whole thing to do with the horses and the very first moving imagery, we've got the theme park. 

Basically, I spent over two hours watching a film, left the cinema and basically can't really tell you what it's about.

Get Out this is not. I'm not even sure I'd describe it as diverting. But it will leave you scratching your head.

DO GO: um, if you've got time to kill ... 

AVOID: if you're expecting Get Out, or just a coherent story line

CLASSIFICATION: in Australia this is rated M. There's some violence and gore and the general insanity of the film may well leave those under say 14 or 15 a little disturbed (especially as there is NO denouement). I wouldn't take my 11 year old, for what that's worth!

RATING: I have no idea. I don't feel it's fair to rate a film when I'm so bamboozled by it. 

(I saw this movie thanks to tickets I won to a preview screening. Thanks to Pedestrian - again! - for the competition). 

Movie Review: Bullet Train

 

Well, by now you've probably read more than one dismissive review of Brad Pitt's new movie, Bullet Train. In fact, if you read the Guardian you'll have read two reviews - both scoring it an identical 2/5 stars.

And golly - aren't some people a bit grumpy? Now - straight up - this movie is blood, blood, more blood. Then some blood. All on a train. The end. 

But, oddly, this doesn't make it an un-fun movie. There are laughs along the way (I saw it at a preview so the cinema was almost full - and people other than me did, indeed, laugh), and visually (apart from all the blood, or perhaps because of it) it's pretty slick. Brad Pitt is also immensely likeable (although somewhat hapless) as Ladybug, an assassin who's re-entering the game with a simple snatch & grab job. He's plagued by what he perceives as bad luck and has drunk way too much self-help Kool-Aid (with the help of a therapist).

Ladybug is supposed to hop on the eponymous Bullet Train, nick a silver suitcase with a train sticker on the handle, and then hop off.

Unfortunately, the train he hops on is full of assassins, all with various axes to grind and with varying degrees of both competence and malice.

People die (or do they?) and the story keeps you on your toes with flashbacks and new characters popping up throughout. Fortunately, the story, while twisty-turny, is well enough explained that you don't get lost. It also means I'm going to avoid plot here for risk of spoilers.

The main characters are well developed so, even though they're mostly deeply unpleasant people (probably a common problem for assassins) you do feel for most of them. Not all. And some redeem themselves. Sort of.

Don't go into this film expecting a cinematic masterpiece that is going to make you think and re-evaluate your life choices. But - it's a film about assassins on a train, you were never going to do this, right?

DO GO: if you feel like an engaging, slightly silly film.

AVOID: if you don't like gore and there's an argument that some is gratuitous.

CLASSIFICATION: In Australia the MA15+ rating is spot on - don't take your 10 year old.

RATING: 3/5 happy faces.

(I saw this movie thanks to tickets I won to a preview screening. Thanks to Pedestrian for the competition). 

Movie Review: Morbius

By now, you've probably seen more than one review that slates one of the current Marvel offerings, Morbius. I certainly have and I suspect that going in with low expectations certainly helped with my experience of the film. Helped - but didn't solve all the problems.

Jared Leto stars as Dr Michael Morbius - a brilliant doctor who receives a Nobel prize for creating synthetic blood. However, he also has a rare and debilitating blood disorder and spends his spare research time trying to cure his own disease. This involves splicing some Costa Rican vampire bat DNA with human DNA. His experiments eventually bear fruit and, in international waters, he uses himself as the first human test subject.

By now, we all know that messing with animal/human hybrids never ends well, and, while Morbius appears to be cured (miraculously gaining weight and body condition in a few moments ...) it turns out that he's also channelling vampire and needs to keep the inner vampire at bay by drinking blood. Of course, it's initially a happy coincidence that he's got a stash of synthetic blood at his lab but it transpires that the blue synthetic blood only holds off the vampire for a diminishing interval. But Morbius is on top of this and apparently has the strength of character to stay on the good side of things.

Unfortunately, this isn't the case for Morbius's childhood friend, Milo, played by Matt Smith. Milo also suffers from the mystery blood disorder and, when he discovers Morbius has a cure, doesn't give two hoots about the ethical issues that arise from needing blood. Indeed, Milo embraces life as a vampire, seeking out red (real) blood and exsanguinating large chunks of the New York population while he's at it.

Thus we have a rather crudely drawn battle between good and evil, which results in a lot of swishing, swoshing and fancy footwork (and CGI). Morbius's love interest, Dr Martine Bancroft, falls victim to Milo in this power play, as does Dr Nicholas, who has treated Morbius and Milo since childhood. 

So - Morbius is the good guy. Milo's the bad guy. Milo dies. The end. There's a couple of very weird end-credit scenes that will only make sense if you're fully across the Marvel universe (and maybe not even then) and it's obvious the film is set up for a sequel (spoiler - Bancroft's not dead dead).

Is it any good? Well, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting but overall, I felt the film really didn't know which way it was heading most of the time. Fleetingly, we see the ethical tension in Morbius (being a good guy yet having vampiric tendencies can't be easy) but too often he is just tortured for no reason other than being tortured. There's a moment of lightness when we see Milo enjoying his new body, but his sudden switch to bad guy makes little sense (unless it all hinges on one childhood incident, which I'm not buying). There's some flashy fight scenes that don't make a lot of sense and the whole vampire thing doesn't hang together well. Is it something they can control at will? Is it real blood that makes them bad? Does a lack of blood turn them into violent vampires? Or does it return them to their feeble state? And ultimately - do you care?

I found the level of suspension of disbelief required by this film just too high. There was very little subtlety in the characters - the two cops and Dr Bancroft in particular were really just warm bodies on the screen. Matt Smith did a great job and Jared Leto was OK (and writing this, I wonder really if Leto might not have made a better Batman than Robert Pattinson) but ultimately, this film is a 'yeah but nah' from me.

I'll give it a pass - because if you're a die-hard Marvel fan you'll see it and, undoubtedly, love it.

2.5/5

(This film is rated M in Australia)

Horrible Histories: Vaccinations

We've spent a few minutes transcribing the lyrics (maybe with some mondegreens!) from the Vaccinations song from the latest Horrible Histories series (series 7 I think).

Undoubtedly there are errors - please let me know of any suggestions as I have a seven year old who will be eternally grateful!

I Edward jenner and I was told
Maids who got pox once never had another episode
So I injected James Phipps with a strain
He didn't catch small pox he was as right as rain
I gave him inoculation
Depsite some protestation
Was the first vaccination
Lead to his rehabilitation
Imagine my elation at my medical creation
And so my vaccination lead to experimentation
By me, Louis Pasteur if you please
So if that worked surely you can vaccinate against all disease
So I injected cholera into a hen
Turns out I was right, it lived to lay eggs again
I gave him immunisation, it was a mate of inoculation
Bit like my vaccination but with a modification
Turns out it's application was a medical transformation
It was a combination of scientific dedication
Alexander Fleming I invented penicillin
Accidentally
Like all the best discoverires
Him and him and me saved the lives of many a man in history
End disease that's killing with
Vaccinations and penicillin
We gave you vaccination, penicillin and immunisation [repeat 3x]
We left a world that's cheerier
By dealing with bad bacteria

Women in STEM? It starts with the parents

I posted this rant on Facebook and it's had a lot of love so I'm sharing here.

I may get around to updating/expanding it ... I may not.

TL;DR?

If we want more women in STE(A)M then we need to start by educating their parents. If little girls aren't taken to science events, coding events (many of which are free) they'll fall behind their male peers. And it's pretty obvious that then they won't be interested ... after all, how much do you enjoying something when you're the person in the room with the least experience, prior knowledge or expertise?

Here's the rant:

One thing (of the many) that whoppies me up is people going on & on about women in STEM. I particularly enjoy the pontifications of men who make pronouncements along the lines of girls enjoying the design side of things. They are part of the problem (and need a strong talking to).

HOWEVER ...

Last night I took my 7 year old son to a '3d design' class running at our local library. It costs $20 a child, and runs over 3 weeks - so the barriers to entry are pretty low (not non-existent, but low). Of the maybe 8 children who were there guess how many were girls.

That's right - NONE. Not one single girl.

This class is aimed at young children (ages 8+) so the driver in getting children there is the parents. If I'd asked my son if he wanted to go he would have said 'no' (default answer to everything) but I know he likes technology (yet to see a child who doesn't) so I carted him along.

And those 8 boys who were there last night now have an edge. When they use a design program at school or do 3d printing or whatever - the girls in the class will hear the boys shouting about how they've done this before and know all about it. At the next session run by a library or council, the boys will be making all the noise about how they've done this before and that they know this and that.

And the girls are behind the 8-ball. Partly because they're probably not shouting. Partly because it's intimidating being around people who have already done whatever it is you're doing.

It doesn't matter if you don't know how to turn on a computer and it doesn't matter what your daughter wants to do when she grows up. When they're little, it's your responsibility to take your child (of either gender) to experience as many things as possible, from as diverse a range of fields as possible.

'Fixing' the lack of women in STEM doesn't come down to creating programs - it comes down to educating parents that they have to get their daughters involved from an early age. Because if all the boys are programming by the time they're ten, then the girls are going to struggle to catch up.

</rant>

Float Mode - at Mode Fitness

date of visit: Friday 13 April 2018

I've been talking about doing a float since pretty much forever. When I lived in Leeds (so, given I moved back to Australia almost 10 years ago ... you get the idea) a float business opened up in the city centre and I never quite got around to going. I was a bit apprehensive ... after all, you're on your back, in water, in the dark ... that's just a little bit intimidating if you think about it for too long.

Anyway, before Christmas a group buying deal came up for a float at Float Mode in the city. I managed to buy it and book it! Of course, despite having the voucher for months, I managed to use it about a week before it expired. This is particularly inexcusable because Float Mode has online booking (HALLELUJAH!) meaning you don't have to find time to phone, have a chat to someone and have your calendar in front of you all at once ....

It turned out my timing was impeccable because I'd had (by my standards - I'm lucky as my life is generally pretty chilled out) something of a challenging week. Even though I really questioned whether or not I could afford the time, I think it ended up being a good way of spending some time.

Even though you spend an hour in the tank, you do have to budget about 1.5 hours. As a newbie, I received a very detailed introduction to floating (seriously, these guys have thought of EVERYTHING in the intro) - what to do, what to expect - even down to how much of a gap to leave on the bathroom door! As I was a bit apprehensive, this was great because by the time we'd gone through everything I was totally calm about what was to come. I didn't feel like there were going to be any surprises.

After my 'induction', I was left alone. Everyone has to shower prior to hopping in the tank so I enjoyed a waterfall shower (you are advised to take it a bit cooler than usual, so that the water in the tank doesn't feel cold) and then put my ear plugs in (not essential, but recommended), picked up my little facewasher (in case you need to rub your face ... you don't want that super salty water in your eyes!) and hopped in. 

Because the tank is loaded with 350kg of salt, I'd been given very careful instructions about getting in - apparently if you don't lie back gently, supported by your hands, your legs can bob up quite quickly! Once in, it was time to close the tank, familiarise myself and finally turn the light out.

You get about 10 minutes of music, which fades out and then you spend the rest of the time in silence. I was quite surprised that I didn't fall asleep. It's a very weird sensation - because it kind of is like going to bed (warm and dark) but you're not tired (well, for me it was the middle of the day) and you're flat on your back.

Although I did find the experience very relaxing (and as someone with permanently tight muscles, that's a good thing!) I also found it really valuable as some switch off time. Like most people, I am always on a device of some sort and always have my mind ticking over what needs to be done, what I should be doing, what I could be doing and so on. Obviously, shut up in a tank of water I couldn't do anything (including procrastinate!) so it was a really fabulous opportunity to empty my mind. I didn't get bored but I also didn't stress over the things I wasn't doing and didn't create to-do lists for when I got out. I got a bit fidgety towards the end, but as you're fully supported in the water, you can have a bit of a wriggle. I imagine it's a lot like yoga nidra - the more often you do it, the 'better' (for want of a superior word) you get at it.

When the time is up, the music comes back on, a voice tells you your float is over and it's time to hop out. I'd been told to be careful getting out - just in case your muscles are all REALLY relaxed! Then into the shower to wash off all the salt and you get dressed and you're done!

The only thing I hadn't thought of was that it might have been a good idea to bring a comb to comb out my long hair after the shower!

Would I recommend this? Absolutely! Float Mode's prices seem consistent with other float businesses in Adelaide so if you work in the CBD or head in there often, it's a good choice. I had no problem parking on the street.

Float Mode

26 Elizabeth Street

Adelaide SA 5000

0432 433 306

Two Cleansers: L'Oreal and RosehipPlus

I have (or rather had) a stack of empties and I suspect my other half had no idea how many of the containers taking over the cupboards and drawers were actually empty. Otherwise I'd have been in a lot more trouble than the usual grumbling about how many products I have! :D 

So let's get started working through these empties.

Today - two cleansers.

1. L'Oreal Revitalift Milky Cleansing Foam (purchased on sale from Priceline quite a while ago now). Revitalift is L'Oreal's anti-ageing range, designed for 40+ year old skin. I've commented elsewhere that I often find cheaper cleansers drying, but the fact that the tube shouts 'glycerin' comforted me (LHA - beta-lipohydroxy acid - is supposedly fab for treating acne ... which doesn't really make sense for a product aimed at 40+ year olds ... although it looks like it works by removing dead skin cells so maybe that's the idea here - sloughs away the wrinkles! ;) ).

It's a white cream which foams up a little when you add water. It left my skin feeling clean, but slightly tight ... and after some consistent use it was drying. I ended up barely using it and then binning the (probably reasonably substantial) remainder.

Would I buy it again? Possibly a moot point as it no longer appears on either the Priceline site or the L'Oreal Australia site - but no.

2. RosehipPlus Daily Cream Cleanser. At one point I won a fair few RosehipPlus products (thanks to both RosehipPlus and The Beauty Collection AND A Bella Adventure). I've loved them all and because I've ended up with a few duplicates I've been able to share the love with some friends, who've loved them too.

The daily cream cleanser is beautiful - pearly, lightly foaming and completely non-drying (on my skin, at least!). My skin always felt clean but really soft and hydrated. It has a lovely subtle rose scent and my only complaint was that over time this did fade and eventually turn into the sort of scent that unscented products sometimes have (does that make sense?!). I used most of it but did bin the last little bit - it was getting hard to get out and I didn't like the smell.

It's first ingredient is (organic) aloe juice, followed by cetyl alcohol, chamomile extract and coconut oil. Don't be freaked out by the 'cetyl alcohol' - it's not 'alcohol' like ethyl alcohol (ethanol) is. It's actually a fatty alcohol which is used to thicken, to aid with foaming and to prevent emulsions (like aloe juice and coconut oil) from separating.

Would I buy it again? Absolutely. A bargain at $16.95 (even more so if you spot it on sale!). A bonus is that the company is Sydney-based, family owned and operated AND the products are made in Australia. You can buy online and the RosehipPlus website also has an excellent stockist locator (there are tons in metro SA).

So there you go - two very different cleaners - one of which demonstrates you don't need to spend a lot of money on a great product!