Movie Review: Nope

 

A long time ago, I watched Jordan Peele's first movie, Get Out, while on a long-haul flight. My criteria for long-haul flight movie choices all revolve around things like 'light and fluffy', 'can sleep for a chunk and not miss anything', 'can be bored and fall asleep' ... so I'm not sure what possessed me to choose Get Out because, while it fulfilled none of the above, it was gripping cinema (even on the teeny-tiny screen).

Somehow I missed Us so when I saw that there was a new film I made sure I entered more one competition to win tickets. And that is how I ended up at the Adelaide launch, with a friend, also a Peele (or should that be Get Out?) fan.

I went in knowing nothing about the film and my friend commented that she'd watched the trailer before leaving home and had been left none the wiser. And, after 2 hours and 15 minutes of cinema ... well, hell, I couldn't really tell you what the film was about. I have since heard a pithy description of it (thanks reddit) but I don't want to share that here for risk of ruining things.

Because I'm somewhat bemused by the film, it means I'm also not sure what might constitute a spoiler. I'm going to try to avoid spoilers but ... you never know.

So - we're in the California desert training horses to be on movie sets. The patriarch of the family business is killed by objects falling, mysteriously, from the sky. The serious but slightly awkward son, OJ, (Daniel Kaluuya, who you'll recognise from Get Out) is left in charge of the business alongside his feckless sister, Emerald (Keke Palmer). Without his father holding things together, the business starts to go out south and it transpires that OJ is selling his best horses to their neighbour, Ricky Park. Park owns a western themed theme park, which also seems to be suffering business woes. It appears Park's finances are being held together by his connection to a children's program in the late 90s (I'm not sure how important this is to the story ... so ... abundance of caution and all that).

But then ... things take a turn south as weird stuff starts to happen. Emerald and OJ attempt to set up surveillance but the 'weird stuff' that happens disrupts anything electrical. 

Eventually, they arrive at the conclusion that the 'weird stuff' is alien. Whether or not it's a UFO or an alien, or indeed whether or not it's a sentient UFO ... well, um, yeah. But another key realisation is that the 'weird stuff' will only get you if you look at it.

Armed with this knowledge, the siblings (along with some help) come up with a plan to capture footage of said 'weird stuff'.

They do. The end.

Hm. Well, that's underwhelming. But to add to the general feeling of 'WTAF' that I left the cinema with, we've got a very strange story arc about a chimp, we've got the whole thing to do with the horses and the very first moving imagery, we've got the theme park. 

Basically, I spent over two hours watching a film, left the cinema and basically can't really tell you what it's about.

Get Out this is not. I'm not even sure I'd describe it as diverting. But it will leave you scratching your head.

DO GO: um, if you've got time to kill ... 

AVOID: if you're expecting Get Out, or just a coherent story line

CLASSIFICATION: in Australia this is rated M. There's some violence and gore and the general insanity of the film may well leave those under say 14 or 15 a little disturbed (especially as there is NO denouement). I wouldn't take my 11 year old, for what that's worth!

RATING: I have no idea. I don't feel it's fair to rate a film when I'm so bamboozled by it. 

(I saw this movie thanks to tickets I won to a preview screening. Thanks to Pedestrian - again! - for the competition). 

Movie Review: Morbius

By now, you've probably seen more than one review that slates one of the current Marvel offerings, Morbius. I certainly have and I suspect that going in with low expectations certainly helped with my experience of the film. Helped - but didn't solve all the problems.

Jared Leto stars as Dr Michael Morbius - a brilliant doctor who receives a Nobel prize for creating synthetic blood. However, he also has a rare and debilitating blood disorder and spends his spare research time trying to cure his own disease. This involves splicing some Costa Rican vampire bat DNA with human DNA. His experiments eventually bear fruit and, in international waters, he uses himself as the first human test subject.

By now, we all know that messing with animal/human hybrids never ends well, and, while Morbius appears to be cured (miraculously gaining weight and body condition in a few moments ...) it turns out that he's also channelling vampire and needs to keep the inner vampire at bay by drinking blood. Of course, it's initially a happy coincidence that he's got a stash of synthetic blood at his lab but it transpires that the blue synthetic blood only holds off the vampire for a diminishing interval. But Morbius is on top of this and apparently has the strength of character to stay on the good side of things.

Unfortunately, this isn't the case for Morbius's childhood friend, Milo, played by Matt Smith. Milo also suffers from the mystery blood disorder and, when he discovers Morbius has a cure, doesn't give two hoots about the ethical issues that arise from needing blood. Indeed, Milo embraces life as a vampire, seeking out red (real) blood and exsanguinating large chunks of the New York population while he's at it.

Thus we have a rather crudely drawn battle between good and evil, which results in a lot of swishing, swoshing and fancy footwork (and CGI). Morbius's love interest, Dr Martine Bancroft, falls victim to Milo in this power play, as does Dr Nicholas, who has treated Morbius and Milo since childhood. 

So - Morbius is the good guy. Milo's the bad guy. Milo dies. The end. There's a couple of very weird end-credit scenes that will only make sense if you're fully across the Marvel universe (and maybe not even then) and it's obvious the film is set up for a sequel (spoiler - Bancroft's not dead dead).

Is it any good? Well, it wasn't as bad as I was expecting but overall, I felt the film really didn't know which way it was heading most of the time. Fleetingly, we see the ethical tension in Morbius (being a good guy yet having vampiric tendencies can't be easy) but too often he is just tortured for no reason other than being tortured. There's a moment of lightness when we see Milo enjoying his new body, but his sudden switch to bad guy makes little sense (unless it all hinges on one childhood incident, which I'm not buying). There's some flashy fight scenes that don't make a lot of sense and the whole vampire thing doesn't hang together well. Is it something they can control at will? Is it real blood that makes them bad? Does a lack of blood turn them into violent vampires? Or does it return them to their feeble state? And ultimately - do you care?

I found the level of suspension of disbelief required by this film just too high. There was very little subtlety in the characters - the two cops and Dr Bancroft in particular were really just warm bodies on the screen. Matt Smith did a great job and Jared Leto was OK (and writing this, I wonder really if Leto might not have made a better Batman than Robert Pattinson) but ultimately, this film is a 'yeah but nah' from me.

I'll give it a pass - because if you're a die-hard Marvel fan you'll see it and, undoubtedly, love it.

2.5/5

(This film is rated M in Australia)

Movie Review: Peppa Pig: My First Cinema Experience

OK - Master 6 is perhaps a touch old for Peppa Pig and definitely already been to the cinema at least once before. When I won a family pass for the new Peppa Pig movie, his initial reaction was 'BORING'. However, when I suggested that if that were the case we might like to give it away, his tune changed mighty fast!

He picked a friend to take along, I (hesitantly, at first!) sorted the logistics and so, last Sunday,we headed off to the cinema. First thing (well, 11am) on a Sunday morning is a GREAT time to go to the movies - easy to park and no one around! I think there were about 4 other people in our cinema.

Peppa Pig: My First Cinema Experience is actually 4 all-new (yes, Andy - ALL NEW - you haven't seen any of them before!) episodes. Peppa and family visit Kylie Kangaroo, meet a koala, surf etc etc. No departure from the usual Peppa script there!

For some reason, someone decided that the episodes needed stitching together (for want of a better phrase) by introducing some live action. So as the film opens, we meet Daisy - Peppa's human friend - who, along with puppets of Peppa and George - invites the audience to sing and shout and join in. It was unbelievably saccharine and because the cinema was empty, the interactive element totally fell flat. While I was cringing and wishing they'd just get on with the animation, the two six year olds were cheerfully shouting and fidgeting away.

Despite the incongruity of people and puppets, the Peppa episodes are exactly what you'd expect, so Peppa fans will be happy.

At the end of the show, I asked Master 6 what his favourite part had been. You wouldn't believe it. It was the live action parts. 'Because it was something new and different and I haven't seen it before'.

So that just goes to show why I don't work in children's programming!

Recommended for: well, apparently six year old boys will enjoy this movie if you can get them there. It's undoubtedly aimed at a slightly younger set and I think children of all ages will enjoy it more if it's a busy cinema!

Thanks to Westfield Marion for running the competition.